A Letter To My Younger Self.

So, the other day I was looking through my old Facebook page, the one I made when I first made a Facebook page. The one that has so many old photos dating back to the early 2000's. And if I'm being completely honest,that trip down memory lane made me quite sad. As someone who reads energy I didn't like what I saw in my old pictures. There were some photos where I felt I couldn't even recognize myself. And as someone who believes that time is quite linear and that healing is of the utmost importance, I felt the need to write a letter to the girl I didn't recognize as myself. Though I know I could have done this privately I feel as though someone else may benefit from reading it as well. So that being said, I leave you with my letter.

Hey you, yeah you, with the sad eyes. I'm so sorry. I am so sorry that you were ever in a place that made you feel less than. I wish you had known just how much love and support you had outside of the chaos. I wish you had known that you didn't need to sacrifice so much of yourself to appease the people around you. I am so sorry you felt that you needed to settle. I am so sorry that you didn't have the strength to jump in your car when you had the chance. I am so sorry that you had to deal with all the mental abuse you had to endure thereafter. But, I am proud of you. I am proud of you for not breaking. I am proud of you for staying true to your light and not falling into darkness. I just wish you had known you didn't have to do it. You didn't have to stay. You owed absolutely nothing to the one who tore you down. You were only a means to an end for them, a paycheck. Nothing more. I'm sad for you, I wish you had seen the damage that would come. You always knew you weren't meant to be there, I just wish I knew why you stayed. But again, I am proud of you. Despite the negativity thrown your way you stayed strong and loving. You never allowed anything you went through to change your character. You paved the way for me to stand strong today, so thank you. Thank you for sacrificing years of happiness for me to be aligned with everything that brings me joy today. You had no idea the sun would come, yet you stayed among the clouds with hope in your heart it would. Thank you. I sit here today in aw of the girl with the sad eyes. A piece of myself I can't recognize today. She has proven to have been the seed planted among the darkness. Slowly growing her roots, she emerged, the sunflower I recognize today. I give so much credit to that time in the dark, without it I don't think I would appreciate the sun around me now. I promise to stay rooted, remembering the darkness in which I was planted. But I will focus my attention on the flower I have become and the seeds I can in turn plant as a result of my time in the dark. I love and appreciate you, girl wit the sad eyes. And I vow to do whatever I can to grow a garden for you.


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